That feeling of Uselessness

Ever feel like going out and doing something worthwhile? Something that could make a difference? Something that’ll stop the feelings of uselessness and desperation that constantly over ride any other positive feelings trying to surface? Some people might well be happy with their lives, but I’m positive that this thought has occurred to each and every one of you, even if it was only just that one time.

We all want to be appreciated. We all want to  accomplish something worthwhile. We all want to be part of the selected ‘specials’ of this world and we all sure as hell want to be looked up to, someone who others can hold example to and say ” Look at her, don’t you want to be like her?”

Hah. Me, I’ve got too much of a rebel inside me to ever come remotely close to that. Every time I catch up a little,  start getting my act together slightly, something or other gets in the way or comes crashing down on me to drag me all the way back to Square One. To tell the truth though, I’m sorta tired of it. For once in my life, I would happily be able to live without all of this added drama in my life. Yes, everything is a challenge. And hell yes, you have to work hard to get ‘what you want’… but can’t things – for once – just be simple? Fine, if you’re struggling in one aspect of your life then can’t one just run smoothly. Why does it have to be that when one thing goes wrong, every other bloody thing has to as well. So you end up having drowned so deep that you have absolutely no clue how to save yourself. Help yourself.

People hand you such simple solutions like “Go out and do something!”, “Write, send articles to newspapers”, “Organise your life”. Yea. Like it’s that simple. Like I’ll clean out my drawers, organise my freaking day schedual and thats it -snap- everything’s back in place and I can plaster a genuine, honest-to-god smile on my face. It’s not that easy. Especially, when you have absolutely no-one by your side, helping you out, or just simply be-ing there for you.

That’s the worse part. Having to face all of it all by your self; forced to lock in all of your feelings, anger, frustration and not being able to pour it out in any way or form. You know so may people, your phone- book is endless yet not one of them can you call and just say ” Hey, you free today?” That, is probably the worse of all the shit.

It sucks hell being so lonely. Being the only one at a standstill while everyone else is rushing past you and climbing higher and higher, and simply unable to relate to you anymore. Or maybe just, not bothered; too busy in their own shit. Which do you think is worse? Hell, we’re all going through one thing or another, but it would get a whole lot easier if we were able to master the one thing we all have yet to accomplish: Communicate.

P.S. Alot of my blogs will probably centre around this topic. You will get sick of it, I know. So help me God, it’s how I feel. And how I feel is usually what I write. Cheers.

Remember December – Demi Lovato (Video & Lyrics)

This song is one of her best. Along with Don’t Forget and alot more. The lyrics are incredible and the soul she puts in this song is clearly visible in her music video (not that she doesn’t in all her songs.) Demi Lovato’s voice and lyrics are part of this generation’s most heartfelt music, I think.

Remember December Lyrics

I feel a separation coming on.
‘Cause I know you want to be moving on.

And I wish that it would snow tonight
You pull me in, avoid a fight.
‘Cause I feel,
A separation coming on.

Just prove that there is nothing left to try.
It’s the truth.
I’d rather we’d just walk tonight.

You kiss me with those open eyes.
It says so much.
It’s no surprise, to you,
But I’ve got something left to say.

Don’t surrender, surrender, surrender,
Please remember, remember December.
We were so in love back then.
Are you listening
To what they say?
Don’t go that way.
Remember, remember, December.
Please remember.
Don’t surrender.

You said, you wouldn’t let them change your mind.
‘Cause we’re here, together fire melts the ice.
Our hearts are both on overdrive,
Come with me let’s run tonight.
Don’t let,
These memories get left behind.

Don’t surrender, surrender, surrender,
Please remember, remember, December.
We were so in love back then.
Are you listening
To what they say?
Don’t go that way.
Remember, remember, December.
Please remember.

I remember, us together,
we both promised, that forever.
We can do this,
Fight the pressure.
Please remember December.

Don’t surrender.

Don’t surrender, surrender, surrender,
Please remember, remember, December.
We where so in love back then
Are you listening
To what they say?
Don’t go that way.
Remember, remember, December.
Please remember.
Don’t surrender.

Naturally – Selena Gomez (Video & Lyrics)

Whenever this song starts playing, I can’t help but jump up, flinging my hair around and singing along at the top of my voice. ;) I adore the style of clothes used in this video. Most of all though. I love her hair. Gorgeous. <3

Naturally lyrics

How you choose to express yourself
It’s all your own and I can tell
It comes naturally, it comes naturally

You follow what you feel inside
It’s intuitive, you don’t have to try
It comes naturally, mmmm it comes naturally

And it takes my breath away
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it’s exciting
When you know it’s meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you’re with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

You have a way of moving me
A force of nature, your energy
It comes naturally (You know it does)
It comes naturally
Mmmm yeah

And it takes my breath away (Everytime)
What you do, so naturally

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it’s exciting
When you know it’s meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you’re with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

When we collide, sparks fly
When you look in my eyes, it takes my breath away

You are the thunder and I am the lightning
And I love the way you know who you are
And to me it’s exciting
When you know it’s meant to be
Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
When you’re with me, baby

Everything comes naturally, it comes naturally
Bay bay baby

(Naturally)
Naturally x5
Bay bay baby

(Naturally)
Naturally x5
Everything baby comes naturally

General Quotes – 1

Life

The Search for Truth is a Search for Identity, that in finding Truth, we find Ourselves ~ Uknown

Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude toward us ~ John N. Mitchell

An unforgiving heart knows no peace. ~ Philip Arnold

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. ~ Anne Frank.

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter. ~ James Earl Jones

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ~ Jerome K. Jerome

There are things so deep and complex that only intuition can reach it in our stage of development as human beings. ~ John Astin

Life was better when Apples and BlackBerries were just fruits. ~ @Rainbowlati

Watch yourself, little girl. You’re swimming in the deep end now. ~ One Tree Hill

The single clenched fist lifted and ready, Or the open hand held out and waiting.For we meet by one or the other. ~ @learnthesecret

It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It’s our problem-free philosophy… Hakuna Matata! ~ Lion King ;)

There are certain threads you don’t dare touch for fear of unraveling it all. ~ Lisa Tucker (The Song Reader)

It is so hard to just forget, when you specifically need to forget something. ~ Me

Isn’t if funny, how day-by-day nothing changes, but then when you look back, everything is different. ~ Unkown

The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue. ~ Unknown

Dance like nobody`s watching; love like you`ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody`s listening; live like it`s heaven on earth. ~ Mark Twain

All serious daring starts from within. ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Education

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. ~ George Santayana

The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing ~ Oscar Wilde

Time

Time is the longest distance between two places. ~ Tennessee Williams

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles M. Schulz

There will always be enough time until there is no more time. ~ @PopularQuotes

The pages keep turning, I’ll mark off each day with a cross.. And I’ll laugh about all that we’ve lost. ~ Unkown

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns to be amused rather than shocked. ~ Pearl S Buck

Our goals

I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude. ~ Judith M. Knowlton

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. ~ Erica Jong

Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them. ~ Joseph Joubert

Impossible is not a word, it’s just a reason not to try. ~ Zachdude1094 (WordPress)

Wherever there is greatness, there is also great error. ~ Zachdude1094 (WordPress)

Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough. ~ Robert Heller

You’ve only got three choices in life: 1) Give up. 2) Give in. 3) Give it all you’ve got. ~ @NinoGino

Somewhere everybody starts there. ~ Kate Voegele

Never let your memories be greater than your dreams. ~ @GlamorousD

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. ~ @GlamorousD

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit. ~ Napoleon Hill

The hardest thing about the road not taken is that you never know where it might have led. ~ Lisa Wingate

People don’t fail, the give up. ~Unkown

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it. ~ Maya Angelou

I’m slowly starting to realize that it’s honestly not what you do in life, but who you know in life, that makes you successful. ~ Amna Al Redha

If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much. ~Unkown

Relationships

Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. ~ Miles Franklin

Self Esteem

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. ~ Harvey Fierstein

Come face me, tell me who you really are, not that I don’t know it, I just want to hear you say it. ~ Unkown

So loud; the voices of all my doubts. Telling me to give up. To pack up, and leave town. But even so, I have to believe. Impossible means nothing to me. ~ Kate Voegele

We are all something, but none of us are everything. ~Blaise Pascal

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. ~ Lao Tzu

Confidence starts with beauty. Beauty begins from comfort within. ~ Demi Lovato

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. ~ Oscar Wilde

If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing. ~ Jessica Alba

We are much stronger than our fears, it just takes a long time for us to realize it. ~ Me

Personality

Your family is the core of your identity and your friends are your backbones. Stay True to yourself and those around you. ~ Unkown

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. ~ Pearl S. Buck

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

If you’re not the person who influences, you will surely be the one who is influenced. ~ Me

We certainly never feel any pleasure in someone else’s happiness. We feel more peeved than ever, is what we feel. ~ Me

We all try to do right & be the best we can for others. But our own hidden agendas usually drag us back before we can take another step forward. ~ Me

Sometimes you cant see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

What you think about, you bring about. Your whole life is a manifestation of the thoughts that go on in your head. ~ Lisa Nichols

It is in our nature to judge the people around us. It is also in our nature to blame others for our mistakes. ~ Desperate Housewives

Learning a new thing that is not related to your normal life is the best way to challenge your self. ~ @Colorsmania

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

When you have a clear purpose, you won’t have time for negativity. ~ Mark Victor Hansen

Compassion is the basis of morality. ~ Arnold Schopenhauer

We’ve all got a little bit of a hypocrite in us. ~ Me

We must become the change we want to see. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Modesty; the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it ~Oliver Herford

Someone swears his true love until the end of time. Another runs away; separate or united, healthy or insane. To be yourself is all that you can do. ~ Be Yourself by AudioSlave

I believe everything happens for a reason, people change so you can learn to let them go. ~ Marilyn Monroe

Truth

truth is hard. The truth is awkward & the truth hurts. People think they want the truth, but do they really? ~@TheLoveStories

There’s a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind I don’t know, and a little emotion behind every I don’t care. ~ Unkown

Happiness

Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling  inside that can hardly be contained. ~ Terry Pratchett

The best feeling comes a while after cutting all strings loose, realizing how free you are to be able to do anything. So free you can fly. ~ @xxprettythings

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~ Palmer Sondreal

How are you feeling today? she asks. Better than yesterday. Thats all you can ever ask for. she replies. ~ Unkown

Stop chasing after eternal ‘happiness’. The small pleasures you experience everyday are what will eventually build up to true happiness. ~ Me

You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy. ~ Eric Hoffer

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. ~ Norm Papernick

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~ Palmer Sondreal

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. ~ Francoise De Motteville

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you’ll never run out of things to laugh at. ~ Lyn Karol

Courage

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Pain/ Grief

It’s an interesting feeling, really, to scroll through all the numbers in your phone, and realize that there is no one who will understand. ~ @HindAlr

Sometimes all you really need is a shoulder to cry on; to lean on; to rely on. Just one that’ll help you get through everything. ~ Me

If you miss someone, you’re lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing. ~ Nathan/ One Tree Hill

No matter how fast you run, the pain will always run faster. ~One Tree Hill

Acute frustration can cause you to do many things in that moment, that you’ll later on regret. ~ Me

Most people, ignore their wounds. Put a band-aid on it and forget it. Only the gutsy ones can look right at the blood, stare into the pain, and risk losing their minds to know whats what. ~ Lisa Tucker (The Song Reader)

Doctors try to cure everything with pills; even feelings. ~ Lisa Tucker (The Song Reader)

I always knew that looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew that looking back on the laughs would make me cry. ~ Unkown

Grief may be a thing we all have in common. But it looks different on each and every person. ~ Grey’s Anatomy

Dear Brain, sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him. Dear tummy, sorry for all the butterflies. Dear pillow. Sorry for all the tears. Dear heart, sorry for all the damage. ~ Tumblr

It has to hurt if it’s to heal. ~ Tumblr

Loneliness

People, is better than no people. ~ Greys Anatomy

It gets to a point where you fear trusting anyone, because you’re own friends not only betray your trust, but seem to not even want it. ~ Me

Every morning you get up and put on a fake smile…but what if one morning you didn’t? Would anyone notice? ~ Unkown

Gossip

If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees ~ Khalil Gibran

Repentance

What you did wrong, that was your sin. But now you repent. That is your pure soul. ~ Saawariya

Humourous / Your self

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. ~ Angelina Jolie

Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy. ~ Janet Long

Sometimes I enjoy being in the crowd and sometimes I simply hate it. ~ @PearlyLooks

Man rules the universe; woman rules man. Therefore, Woman rules the universe ~Unknown

Music

The beautiful thing about music, is that no matter who is singing the song you are relating to, they become your confidant, your friend. ~ Demi Lovato

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~ Maya Angelou

I think music can be the thing to change the world. ~ One Tree Hill

Music is the melody whose text is the world. ~ Schopenhauer

Misc.

What’s better, a poetic intuition or an intellectual work? I think they complement each other. ~ Manuel Puig

Inspiration is a strange thing, you can wait days for it to come, then when it does, it comes in waves, on and on. ~ Me

Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled : This could change your life. ~ Helen Exley

Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold.  ~Zelda Fitzgerald

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it. ~ Audrey Hepburn

I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. ~ Audrey Hepburn

Quotes on Love – 1

Of course, Love has to be given it’s own separate page since it’s what most people, nowadays, lives revolve around. God help us all get over this. Amen.

Love

When you go, would you even turn to say – hey… I don’t love you like I did yesterday. ~ My Chemical Romance

Everytime I look at you… I feel better. It shocks me. It knocks my wind out, but it’s true. ~ @Nouftg

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter. ~ James Earl Jones

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. ~ Martin Luther King Jr

Apologizing doesnt always mean right & wrong, it simply means that you value your relationship more than your ego. ~ @TheLoveStories

Why is it that it’s so much easier to forgive a stranger than someone you love? ~ One Tree Hill

An eye for an eye, a heartache for a heartache. ~ @zayyanna

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter. ~ James Earl Jones

It’s nice when people remember the things you thought they’d forget. ~ Unknown

I made myself get over the pain; the everything. Why did you come back? There is nothing left here for you. There really isn’t. ~ Me

The pages keep turning, I’ll mark off each day with a cross.. And I’ll laugh about all that we’ve lost. ~ Unkown

I’m sorry I’m taking some actions, if I don’t.. I would simply let go of you. ~ @i_Dee

There’s a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind I don’t know, and a little emotion behind every I don’t care. ~ Unkown

He took my hands looked deep into my eyes and told me he’ll never let go. And of course, he did. ~ @CutiiePato0tiie

I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special. ~ Jennifer Anniston

When you can’t remember why you’re hurt, that’s when you’re healed. ~ Jane Fonda

When will it sink in? I can & will only love you when you love yourself. Until then, I’ll be waiting on the other side. ~ @DoFruit_UAE

Don’t love someone so much, that you start hating yourself for it. ~ Me

Nobody is perfect, but it’s how you see them that makes them perfect for you. ~Aida

Love is not a myth; its simply being destroyed by this generation’s guys and abused by the girls. ~ @DrLunatiQue

There will never be an in between, so give it up. ~ Demi Lovato

They say, if you find true love, accept that God has been generous to you. And if you don’t, then know that He has become one with you. ~ Saawariya (translated from Urdu)

You’re a little mischievous. You’re a little foolish. And yet it’s true that you are my very life. ~ Saawariya (translated from Urdu)

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love ~ Henri B. Stendhal

We loved with a love that was more than love.  ~ Edgar Allan Poe

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words.  ~ William Shakespeare

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.  ~ Stephen King

I hate it when your not around & the fact that you didn’t call, but mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. ~ 10 Things I Hate About You

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone. ~ Robert Brault

There should be a relationship status for “I don’t even know what’s going on.” ~ Tumblr

I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out to tell you how I feel, like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart n wretched fate. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart, locked inside… Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too…
But I’ll never know..” ~ Tumblr

Whimsical Phrases.

A collection of phrases I’ve gathered from everywhere and anywhere. Some don’t necessarily have to mean anything, they might just sound pretty or create a pretty image – similes & metaphors, I guess you can say. A little different from typical quotes. I’m sure you’ll love em.

~

I wonder if you’re looking at the same moon, same moment.. I like that, connected by light. ~@I_Dee

What I’ve felt, what I’ve known… never showed through what I’ve shown. ~@I_Dee

I can’t fly.. but swimming is the next best thing, the water is my sky! ~@I_Dee

I put myself into this, but you’re my strength. Don’t disappear on me. ~Unkown

I hate this feeling. This sinking feeling, when everything’s fine but you still feel like something wrong’s gonna happen. ~ Me

Ever felt the sort of pain that becomes so unbearable that you go numb and there’s just the blissful nothingness? ~ Me

Memories blur together to form random pop-ups in my mind. I watch.I observe.I sort. Flipping through each of them; searching through the mess. ~ Me

What if I fail? I hate failing. I shouldnt fail? Thinking of failure makes me cry & feel like, well, a failure. I hate that. ~ @PealyLooks

Under the tent of your lashes; Inside the cave of your dreams, is ebedded your shadows. ~ Saawariya

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. ~ Maya Angelou

Candles are the essence of life. Turn the lights off. Light a few scented ones. Close your eyes… And let your mind drift. Or better yet, watch the tiny flickering flame. And be inspired. ~ Me

AC Milan vs Manchester United (2-3) °☺°

Watched the highlights and judging from the action it must have a very, very exciting match to watch. Not to mention lovely watching David Beckham squirm and rally against his ex-team mates. How exciting!

Soooo… A.C Milan lead in the first half with (of course) Ronaldhino right at front, the score cuts equal in the first half with Ronaldhino scoring for A.C Milan and a fluke shot by Scholes for Manchester United. (ManUtd fans at the edge of the seat probably, as it reaches half time.)

Second half turns around though, Manchester United play the ball, as its now A.C Milan playing it right into their arms (or should we say legs?). Two absolutely gorgeous headers than performed by the one and only ROONEEEY, RIGHT over the goal keeper! Followed by another flick of a goal for A.C Milan by Seedorf. The game is then furiously stepped up on both sides as A.C Milan races to catch up and Manchester United desperately block and deflect their every maneuver.

Okay, enough with the dramatics. Watch the video below for the highlights to the game (from which I generated this delightful replay of the match. ) and can check out a detailed report at the link below .

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/europe/8515983.stm

Beckham ‘dreading’ the Man Utd Game.

His first time playing against the team that ‘discovered’ and molded him into the star player that he is today. Hahh, this must have been a match to watch. Manchester United won! Beat em 3-2. Unfortunately I missed it. :( Gonna go and catch up with the highlights right now…

Innocence by Kathleen Tessaro

Kathleen Tessaro; one of my absolutely favourite authors. I bought this book a long time ago, probably back in 2004 or so. I’d read her book Elegance & absolutely loved it, so obviously bought her second book as well. Last night, having nothing new to read happened upon it, and decided to read it again. I finished it three to four hours later.

Innocence is the type of book you can lose yourself in. The sort of book that pulls you in and you feel like you’re there, living part of the story. It’s written in a series of present and future chapters. Starting with the present then flashing to the past, then back to the present, then again into the past. The more you read, the more is revealed and the deeper you’re plunged into their tangled life of passion, desires and lies.

A definite recommendation on my part. Elegance was definitely her better novel, but it’s been years since I last read it so I’d hardly be able to tell you much about it. All I do remember is that it was definitely her better work, as fantastic as this one was.

♪ Change of plan!

Don’t you just hate it when you’ve made plans for the day and you know exactly what you’ll be doing when and where. And then out of nowhere someone comes along and busts the entire thing because they’ve made plans of their own instead? Who, you ask could have the power to change my plans with theirs instead. One of the only two people who could ever do that: My dear mum.The other of course, is my dad.

I didn’t think it would effect me much since this sort of thing happens all the time and my plans mainly  just consisted of organising myself and sorting some things out, but surprisingly, it  did. For the sole reason that according to her, its okay. According to her, me being the daughter, I should just shutup and fall back and everything should still be all hunky dory.

Fuck it.

I shouldn’t complain, she is my mother after all and I do love her. And to her credit, she was really sweet in the morning and bought me goodies from the supermarket! (:P) I will just wipe my rage-filled tears and play the role of content and obedient daughter that is obviously required.

Of course, I don’t have to like it. But, that’s just how it goes in our family. In our culture. In our religion. I’ve lived with it for the 7 of my total 19 years, I can live with it for a few more.

God help me.